Monday, December 31, 2012

Music

Can we talk music? And can we talk Miss Solange?! Now I love Queen Beyonce but Solange's new CD is the truth! It gives me the late 80's early 90's feel. I get a Madonna vibe, very laid back. I listened to the whole CD while washing my wig and it made the time pass so smoothly. If you like different sounds and want to step out of the Rap and R&B box, then buy it on iTunes for $6.99. Favorite songs: Lovers in the parking lot and Don't let me down.


Fantasia

If you don't believe in gay marriage, don't marry a gay person. Its that fucking simple. God does not need your help judging people. Clean your own closet. Last I checked having 2 bastards was a sin. But what do I know, I ain't been to church since 96'. For your comments Fantasia please have a seat at the Sylvan Learning Center.



Breakfast

1 carrot
6 Kale leaves
1/2 cucumber
1/2 green apple
6 fresh frozen strawberries
4 fresh frozen black berries
4 raspberries
4 blackberries
4 fresh frozen peach slices
Spoon full of plain Greek yogurt
1. Pack oatmeal
Soy milk

Taste like depression on ice. Its ok, very filling but in no way shape and/or form is it good.

Lips

It's getting cold, even here in Tampa. My secret weapon on lip ash is Rosebud Salve. It gives my lips a nice glossy shine even when I wear lip stick.



Why

Listening to this lady talk about her baby daddy is sad. To hear her talk talk about the ghetto love they once had is Funny yet depressing. I just want a Big Mac and for her to not to talk to me any more. 

Morning meltdown

That awkward moment when something that was previously to big now fits. Having a fat girl meltdown as we speak in my closet.Oprah did not play Miss Sofia in the color purple for me to be having this break down. Uggghhhh


Too old?

What age does someone grow out of using text message signatures? How you got 5 kids and sending me texts with "Trust No One" at the bottom? 

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Men

Commitment is a scarier word to men than HIVDEATHJAIL combined. A man will drink Hennessy for 30 days straight, all day long.  Who cares about a liver or dying. Drive without a license even though he know if he gets caught again he going to jail. Who cares about doing a little time. Run into random females raw no condom, no nothing. Who cares about a little HIV.  But will date his baby mama for 13 years while still thinking is she the woman I want to be with. Hell you already ruined her life pumped her full of babies she can't afford nor did she even want. You have place so many  insecurities on her no other man will ever be able to deal with that shit.  You been telling her for years she fat and need to loose weight but your mama, grandma and aunts are all shaped like wisdom teeth. Meanwhile her dumb ass working 12 hrs a day, going to zumba, taking care of the kids, cooking you dinner, making sure your ego is stroked but you sit there still wondering if she is the women for you? Really. Dont laugh too hard, this is some of yall real life.

Plus Size New Year's Eve Inspiration


                                      Let's keep it cute and classy.

Finally Blogging


Soooo i'm finally blogging or whatever the hell that means after years of having my family and friends tell me "you’re so funny you should start a blog" here I am. If I’m doing it wrong I’m pretty sure you wonderful people will let me know but here it goes. It’s about to be 2013 and I’m getting on this health kick that the world seems to be on. I want to try "juicing" so I go out to target and buy the NutriBullet which was $100 that already had me kind of like umm idk about this cause $100 sure can buy a massive amount of eyelashes but my mind kicks in and is like it's for your health you don't want to die at 40 just get the damn thing and lets go. I go get in line and there was an Asian man who was standing right in my back pocket and i wanted to bow the fuck out of his ass for standing so close in my mind that was sign #2 fuck this Nutribullet lets go see what’s popping at the hair store. My mind kicks back in with the dying at 40 with a head full of loose wavy Brazilian hair so I stay in line and buy the OVERPRICED blender yea that’s what I’m going to call it OVERPRICED blender. I do an internet search for juicing recipes and find one for detox called the mean green…. Just ask me what’s in… go on ask me…


6 Kale leaves
1 Cucumber
4 Celery Stalks
2 Green Apples
1/2 Lemon
1  kiwi


I know what yall thinking it can’t be bad because we got apples they sweet and good right..and we got kiwi to try and mask the taste of the kale WRONG WRONG WRONG I should of known by the smell that it was going to be a cold glass of what the fuck. First sip taste like fresh cut grass in a glass. I gag down the rest of it thinking dying at 40 hell I have ate a fried Oreo so to make up for that what’s drinking a glass of lawn clippings. After my stomach is full of grass it start to feel very full not satisfied but full. I drink a bottle of water also to try and even out all the green leaves in my stomach. I repeated that step for lunch and had rice and chicken for dinner it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be but it wasn’t good either. Just trying this eating clean eating healthy in 2013.