Sunday, December 30, 2012

Finally Blogging


Soooo i'm finally blogging or whatever the hell that means after years of having my family and friends tell me "you’re so funny you should start a blog" here I am. If I’m doing it wrong I’m pretty sure you wonderful people will let me know but here it goes. It’s about to be 2013 and I’m getting on this health kick that the world seems to be on. I want to try "juicing" so I go out to target and buy the NutriBullet which was $100 that already had me kind of like umm idk about this cause $100 sure can buy a massive amount of eyelashes but my mind kicks in and is like it's for your health you don't want to die at 40 just get the damn thing and lets go. I go get in line and there was an Asian man who was standing right in my back pocket and i wanted to bow the fuck out of his ass for standing so close in my mind that was sign #2 fuck this Nutribullet lets go see what’s popping at the hair store. My mind kicks back in with the dying at 40 with a head full of loose wavy Brazilian hair so I stay in line and buy the OVERPRICED blender yea that’s what I’m going to call it OVERPRICED blender. I do an internet search for juicing recipes and find one for detox called the mean green…. Just ask me what’s in… go on ask me…


6 Kale leaves
1 Cucumber
4 Celery Stalks
2 Green Apples
1/2 Lemon
1  kiwi


I know what yall thinking it can’t be bad because we got apples they sweet and good right..and we got kiwi to try and mask the taste of the kale WRONG WRONG WRONG I should of known by the smell that it was going to be a cold glass of what the fuck. First sip taste like fresh cut grass in a glass. I gag down the rest of it thinking dying at 40 hell I have ate a fried Oreo so to make up for that what’s drinking a glass of lawn clippings. After my stomach is full of grass it start to feel very full not satisfied but full. I drink a bottle of water also to try and even out all the green leaves in my stomach. I repeated that step for lunch and had rice and chicken for dinner it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be but it wasn’t good either. Just trying this eating clean eating healthy in 2013.
 



7 comments:

mscejack said...

Finally..... Why didnt you turn around and smile at that man? He obviously wanted it.

My Smart-Ass Mouth said...

This is for real readers not you

mscejack said...

WOW

Nikia Fielding said...

I just cant what will she think of next lmao

Rob said...

After about a month, you will be getting more than just physical results. You will have more energy and feel even more like crap when you indulge in unhealthy things. I feel that if you give yourself one free day to have a guilt free pig out meal a week, then you can go longer on this diet. I look at it as a reward for eating like a bird all damn week.


Rob said...

After about a month, you will be getting more than just physical results. You will have more energy and feel even more like crap when you indulge in unhealthy things. I feel that if you give yourself one free day to have a guilt free pig out meal a week, then you can go longer on this diet. I look at it as a reward for eating like a bird all damn week.


My Smart-Ass Mouth said...

Thanks for reading Rob I think I'm going to make Sunday my cheat day.